Bugger I’m laying in the middle of the road, I peg it to the hedge at the side of the road and then sit on the kerb “what the hell just happened?!”. To my right the traffic has stopped the driver gets out and shouts “do you need an ambulance?”, “Yes!” I shout with a slightly dazed yelp. There’s a car opposite me, a black astra I think. To my left another twenty metres or so is my bike, bugger it looks trashed.
The bloke from the astra comes over and asks if I’m ok, “yeah I think I am but my foot hurts a bit”. He says something about his car, “I didn’t hit you did I?!” “the bike hit the left hand side of my car” he says. At that point my heart sinks. I’m ok with the thought of my own risks etc. but he goes on to tell me the bike went into his lane and clipped his wheels immobilising his car. He’s ok but his son is a bit shocked. HIS SON?! Oh for gods sake what have I done. There’s a kid standing down the road looking shook up on the phone. How must that feel seeing a biker and bike coming hurtling towards you down the road and then the car you’re in being hit.
After many many apologies and a slightly confused exchange of details (I gave him my car insurers name by mistake) the ambulance first responder arrived, by which time I’d already taken my boot off and unzipped my trouser leg up to my knee. A bearded PCSO cycled past, I wouldn’t mention it but he didn’t feel the need to speak to me, see if I was ok!
We went through what happened, obviously the mechanism of the accident is important to determine what the likely injuries are. Up rocked an ambulance crew and the first paramedic relayed to the new crew what he thought was up “suspect tib and fib and that foot is gone” ah balls.
So up on the stretcher and wheeled into the back of the ambulance, slightly dazed and still in disbelief of what’s just happened. The policeman who’d appeared said he’d get my bike recovered and that he thought it was just an accident.
After some argument with the ambulance crew we settled on going to the Leeds General Infirmary (the crew wanted to take me to Pinderfields hospital) but neither the policeman nor I were too keen on going there. So the doors were shut and off we rolled.
The member of the ambulance crew in the back with me turned out to be a trainee and couldn’t administer any pain relieving drugs other than entonox (gas and air). So whilst I’m inhaling what I can only describe as the most awesome substance known to mankind she’s asking me the usual raft of questions, who I am, what the method of accident was etc. All questions I’m sure you’ll agree aren’t that difficult unless you’re off your tree on pain relief.
Entonox, if you ever get a chance to try it, I’d say go for it. Not only did it detract from the pain it seemed to slow time down. Much the same as slowing the pitch on a recording or playing a 45 on LP, everything just sloooooowed down. As I said awesome.
The next thing I was aware of was laying on a trolley in A&E being told that I wasn’t being treated as an emergency any more so was shifted to a wheelchair type thing and dumped in the “walk-in-centre” much to the disgust of the ambulance crew and the policeman who’d turned up again. Did I just imagine this guy?
